I admit it, when I found out I had an eating disorder I was in shock. And then I was terrified. I was too scared to eat because I didn’t want to gain my weight back and I had absolutely no idea what to eat.
That’s why I joined Ideal Weigh and followed the Ideal Protein diet for a year. I thought it was the best diet to use because I didn’t know what to eat, portions, how often to eat, etc. I couldn’t do it on my own.
Ideal Protein was a miracle. I stuck to the eating plan for the first 6 months because I was scared to death, seriously terrified, I’d have a heart attack like my did. The week after I saw my dad in the hospital I signed up for Ideal Protein. At the time it was the best diet to use because I didn’t have to worry about what to eat.
The problem that I didn’t know about, was that I had an eating disorder for decades. And a very strict diet that was low calorie, low fat, low carb and high protein was the worst thing to put someone with a binge eating problem on.
After my terror at my dad dying faded as he had a triple bypass, I started having some real problems. I would barely eat during the day, avoiding all the free food coworkers brought to work, and binge at night. I would barely eat the next day to make up for it and punish myself. Then I started using laxatives to lose the food I ate.
After 6 months of losing and gaining the same 5 pounds, and my crazy binging, my Ideal Protein coach suggested I go to a psychologist that helped other clients that had emotional eating issues. That’s when I found out I was bulimic.
I didn’t know you could be bulimic without puking. Starving yourself alternating with binging or abusing laxatives is bulimia. Who knew?
So I’m meeting with a psychologist that specializes in eating disorders. She has over 20 years experience. Great. Except I still don’t know what to eat. And I’ve gained back 25 pounds of the 50 pounds I lost.
I’m really starting to freak out. I’ve talked myself out of just not eating. Or of living on protein powder drinks. Or of actually puking. But the root problem remains. I don’t know what to eat, in what amounts that will make me think I ate real food, that tasted good, that keeps my not hungry.
I almost said “food that makes me happy” but that’s the thoughts of a bulimic. I had to realize that I ate to make me happy. To feel better. To dull the emotions, the pain, the unhappiness, etc.
Like alcohol numbs everything and makes it seem fine, food did the same thing for me. I think eating disorders are just like substance addiction but instead of alcohol or drugs, carbs are my numbing agent, my serotonin boost.
Back to what diet is the best one to follow. I’ve heard keto is effortless, but my eating disorder doctor says such a restrictive diet (no fruit, no carbs) will set me up to binge. I there a diet that allows fruit in small amounts? Meat, vegetables and some fruit? After not getting fruit for a year on Ideal Protein, I just can’t live without it now.
My eating disorder doc has said I can have fruit but eat it with protein so it doesn’t shoot the blood sugar up too fast. It’s the blood sugar crashing from carbs that causes me to feel so hungry.
I’ve researched keto, HCG Diet, adkins, paleo, mediterranean, south beach, weight watchers, Richard Simmons diet plan, low glycemic, ideal protein, juicing, counting calories. What I’ve found through trial and error is that the best diet to use is the one you can live with. Which is not helpful at all.
I’ve found that pretty much everyone that has kept it off counted calories and still does if they feel like they’re gaining weight again. Since carbs seem to trigger a feeding frenzy in me, I think I should minimize them greatly.
If I don’t binge when I have a bagel at lunch, the sugar crash causes me to feel far hungrier than I am, and then the insane hunger hits and I binge. That’s what my eating disorder doc says. I should probably follow her advice to greatly minimize carbs.
So that pretty much leaves a vegetable, meat diet (avoiding dairy as I’m lactose intolerant) and minimizing carbs. The minimizing carbs is the thing I’m having problems with. I crave them.
What I really need is something that will spit out my meal plan for the day, with meals that are fast to grab in the morning as I run out the door. I really liked not having to think about what food to make with Ideal Protein. I just ate their pre packaged meals for 4 meals out of the day.
I’ve read good reviews about My Plate which does tell you what to eat every day. Mark’s Daily Apple is the carb minimizing I’m looking for as well, plus there are reader created cookbooks, free recipes, a forum and a shopping guide as to what foods to get.
I can’t stand the cookbooks that have the weirdest ingredients or that require you to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. If I can crockpot this stuff then I’m golden!
I’m actually going to dig through Mark’s Daily Apple right now and see if there a meal plan guide with easy meals to make or something.